The Importance of Social Media Relationships
Two psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham developed a model of social media interaction called the Johari Window in their book On Human Interaction in the 1960’s. What this model teaches us is that people interact with one another on the basis of four quadrants:
Quadrant 1: The Open Area, contains all the things we know about ourselves that we are willing to share with others. Examples of these kinds of things might be our love of animals or our propensity toward travel or our devotion to our family. Our family and friends fit nicely among the people that we share our Open Area with. Most people interacting via social media use blogging to share about themselves.
Quadrant 2: The Blind Area, contains what others know about us, but what we don’t know about ourselves. Some people call these our blind spots. Perhaps we tend to talk about ourselves a lot; perhaps we are overly indulgent with our children. All of us have blind spots that others see but elude us. We are so close to ourselves, we cannot see our own strengths and weaknesses. A good example of uncovering the Blind Area comes from Naked Conversations. When Microsoft hired Robert Scoble they described him as someone who “lets his flaws hang on his sleeve. He’s curious like a child and it’s hard not to like and trust him.”
Quadrant 3: The Hidden Area, things about us, our products or our services that we don’t want others to know constitute the Hidden Area. Obviously, as online communication grows and expands the likelihood for us to keep things hidden decreases. The challenge that social media presents for us is to let down our walls and allow others to see who we really are. Social media enables us to put ourselves out there for scrutiny. When we post a blog and share it with our Facebook friends, we tell them something about ourselves we might not say face-to-face. When we find a delicious little quote that we post to our followers on Twitter, we let them know a little something about us they may not know. Who are the people you share your Hidden Area stuff with?
Talking and listening create a very large Open Area that helps us become authentic and transparent. Authenticity and transparency create trust. And trust, by the way, creates relationships. That’s why we strive for relationships. Probably the most successful woman entertainer of our time, Oprah, delivered the commencement address at Wellesley College in 1997. Some rate this speech as the best speech of its kind ever. Why? “Authenticity oozes out of every paragraph of this speech,” said Richard Green in an interview with USA Weekend. The power of openness works not only for Oprah in commencement speeches, but can work for you if you are willing to let down the walls and welcome the multitudes.
